jain funeral etiquette
Make sure you do that so the family of the deceased can look back at a later time and see who paid respects. If this does not apply to you, stand behind the chairs and allow room for other kin, or close family to stand near the grave. For information about opting out, click here. advice. The world is a darker place without her., My favorite memory of your loved one is.. Instead they dig a hole in the earth and put the remains and sprinkle salt all over, so that it dissolves easily. JustGive also features a charity registry which lets the family choose a charity . Parent (s) Adult siblings. A D\xxk" FU@P WTUqu r|(LwuuUWuP( of an actual attorney. If you are in doubt as to what to do at a funeral, take your cues from the family. Closest next of kin (surviving spouse, eldest children, or parent (s)) Children. I am pleased The remains are collected in bags and the place is thoroughly cleansed. Show up for those you love by attending the funeral with confidence thanks to these etiquette tips above. If you are thinking about visiting the family at home shortly after their loved one has died and before a funeral service has happened (or perhaps been planned), you might want to plan that ahead. Its about the family. The name Jainism derives from the Sanskrit verb ji, "to conquer." It refers to the ascetic battle that, it is believed, Jain renunciants ( monks and nuns) must fight against the passions and bodily senses to gain enlightenment, or omniscience and purity of soul. This link will open in a new window. --Complete Hospice Care for The family was Jewish and sat shiva for seven days; during the shiva, you visit the home and pay your respects. In this emotional time the family is dealing, not only with grief, but with other things such as funeral arrangements, wills, life insurance or the lack thereof, and the list goes on. "In order to keep the Earth clean and pure, Jains cremate those who pass away. 2. If you do partake in sharing a few words, keep it short. However, be aware of proper etiquette when interacting with the grieving family. Who Pays for. Paying respects to the family is one of the main reasons to attend. There a platform of wood is erected. This guide will show you the fundamentals of proper funeral etiquette so that you will know how to communicate properly with the deceased persons grieving family, while exuding dignity and respect during the funeral service. According to the Jain faith, the funeral ends with the cremation of the deceased body. Dress conservatively, especially if youre attending a religious service. So for them death is a festival or Mahotsav. final journey. A suitable place without any living organisms like grass or insects is selected so as not to harm them. The ideal color to wear to a funeral is black. I have asked quite a few questions surrounding death and the Jain rituals that follow. These might have different color symbolism, and you dont want to wear something offensive. Funeral Visitation Etiquette About What To Say Or Not Say To The Bereaved Family? Instead, choose a set of nice cards, or ask the funeral director if he has something you can use. This arrival time gives you a small buffer that can allow for traffic congestion and possible parking issues. This is the best time to talk to the family and express your condolences. Likewise, skip the social media posts. "I think there's power in just a smile, a hug, a pause.". In that case, the deceased will be buried in the clothing in which he died. If there is an open casket, seeing the person affords you both closure and a step toward acceptance of the loss. At Cake, we help you create one for free. Dinner Recipes. This link will open in a new window. Modern culture has created a gray area of what type of clothing is appropriate for a farewell service. Most visitors are there for a short time as opposed to the family, who will be there much longer. If you do not know the family, introduce yourself and let them know . Consult with the funeral director, event planner, or religious leader to see what changes will be made to the ceremony, wake, and reception. is a way to pay respects to the deceased. Once seated, it's important to remain seated during the duration of the service. 2. 8: Funeral service etiquette. OUR TEAM Honoring Veterans We're proud to do our part in honoring those who served. When attending life celebrations, which tend to be less formal and are often held outdoors, attire doesn't have to be quite as conservative, but Whitmore cautions against overly casual wear like shorts, flip-flops, and T-shirts. The Jains believe that the dead soul would be reborn immediately. Every family is different, and what may be protocol at one funeral may not apply to another. One of the first questions about funeral etiquette is attendance. check the plans you have in place. Suffering a loss is already a lot to handle, and chances are, the family or spouse of the deceased would appreciate the extra help. 10 Funeral Etiquette Rules Every Guest Should Follow - Funeral Service Etiquette. The body of the deceased may be displayed in a closed or open casket, or it might not be there at all. Attending a funeral is never easy. Is the grieving family accepting visitors in their home? Sending flowers is a traditional, thoughtful way to show that you are sorry for the family's loss. The remains are not immersed in rivers as they can pollute the water. Chula Vista, CA Jain cremation ceremony is very simple and short. Never, ever answer your cell. Want to learn more about funeral etiquette? Instead they dig a hole in the earth and put the remains and sprinkle salt all over, so that it dissolves easily. Many users would be better served consulting an attorney than using a do-it-yourself online Flower arrangements all have different meanings, so they allow you to express your feelings about the deceased in a positive way. A sparkling white sheet covers his departed . How do you support a grieving family? Now that Those who are suffering from the loss may also feel isolated. There are occasionally times when its not possible or appropriate to attend the funeral. Although wearing black is not a requirement for all funerals, you should opt to wear clothing that is conservative. Then after sometime they pour milk over the place. They ask about the strength of the people who are coming for attending the prathna sabha and arrange a hall according to that. There is viewing etiquette that visitors should follow. Always arrive early. The remains are not immersed in rivers as they can pollute the water. Try to move toward the side aisle rather than the center aisle. If youre close to the family, consider bringing over a homemade meal to their home. So when no two services are identical, how do you know what etiquette is expected? Jainism and Hinduism have many similar characteristic features, including the concepts of samsara, karma and moksha. There a platform of wood is erected. If you sign the guest book, be sure to sign your first and last name; you can also state your relationship to the deceased, e.g., friend, coworker, colleague, or teammate. This informative In preparing for the burial of the deceased, the family or other Muslim community members will clean and shroud the deceased's body. If the service is outdoors, choose footwear and clothing accordingly. Should You Attend The Viewing Or Visitation At The Funeral Home Or Visit The Home? But, watch closely for signs that your audience needs to move on to receive condolences from other funeral guests. The sporadic nature of funerals, and the general absence of discussion of the subject in our . ", Yes, says Swann, with a caveat. Wait till the immediate family is seated. Dress conservatively, and if you are wearing a hat, remove it during the service. The 17 Most Romantic Hotels in the U.S. 4. Although most of us tend to want to avoid the topic of death, whether it is us or a loved one, it is inevitable. You could simply say, "I am very sorry for your loss". Funeral etiquette regarding what is acceptable to say or not say is important. They have a database of more than 1.8 million charities. There's not usually a seating plan so if you're not family or friends, it's proper . Quick, Easy 30-Minute (or Faster!) Children are often welcome to funerals. Express your condolences to the family members. They are followed by family and friends of the deceased. Both men and women should dress conservatively and as they would for any other funeral. In addition, arriving late is considered disrespectful and disruptive. The Jain doctrine teaches atomism which is also adopted in . for your familys future or double 5. In addition, the format of a memorial service is much less formal than a funeral, and may be a better fit for those who want to celebrate the life of their loved one without worrying about materialistic considerations associated with funerals such as cost. Our responsible team follows all the guidelines and tries to comply with all the wishes of the family members in performing tasks related to the funeral services. You can check out our guides on the following major religion's funeral etiquette for guidance: You don't need to know everything, but putting in the effort to learn the basics is a sign of respect towards the family. Women should avoid any kind of heavy jewelry if they are going to attend this vulnerable moment of a family member's or friend's life. In this country, many of the traditional points may not apply. Usually phones and other electronic devices should be turned off (or left in your car) during a visitation, viewing, and service. The wearing of black is thought to symbolise the ashes and dust of the earth to which we return. This is the order of the Rites: The son goes round the pyre three times sprinkling water all over the body. However, it's important to dress and behave respectfully. financial/legal planning. Youll want to appear dignified and respectful, so stay away from bright colors and patterns which can send the wrong message to the mourning family. Things to say: "I'm sorry for your loss." "He was a great man." "The world is a darker place without her." "Is there any way I can support you?" "My favorite memory of your loved one is." "My condolences. A funeral is all about paying your respects to the deceased, which you can simply do by standing and listening to the ceremony thats taking place in front of you. "My condolences to you and the entire family" or "My thoughts are with you all" are safe bets. A suitable place without any living organisms like grass or insects is selected so as not to harm them. So what should you know in regards to wake etiquette? If you have time to add to those seven words, you might want to share a personal story about a time you shared with the deceased. Draupadi was the daughter-in-law in the Pandav clan and Duryodhana Read more. is not the right time to interact with family or friends. Be sensitive to the needs and the mood of the family, and you cant go wrong. 12 0 obj << /Length 13 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode >> stream Preparation for the final journey is A time when some people dont see the big deal with things like this. link to Types of Headstones: Common Designs, Materials & Costs, link to Paying for a Funeral: Should You Pay For A Funeral With Cash. Death has been called the last taboo: the one subject more than any other that people don't want to think about, much less talk about. A simple Im sorry for your loss or My thoughts are with you are sufficient enough to express your support. Instagram. It starts one day after the Otsuya with a Sougi or Soshiki, which is the funeral ceremony itself. Death immediately makes the deceased liable for the costs of their funeral, cremation, and burial. Now that youre aware of all of the aspects relating to funeral etiquette, youre ready to attend a funeral. will bring you peace of mind knowing But the general rule of thumb is if you can make it, you should be thereespecially if you have a deep respect for the departed. You don't want to have to move because you're sitting in seats reserved for immediate family members. If a small child begins to make noise or create a distraction, take them outside quickly. Typically, one member of this group will give their thanks to the remaining guests at the ceremony. Other thoughtful gift ideas include sending the familys home a gift basket. Dr. Raj Chadha, Traditionally, a funeral involved use of deadwood and cow dung. For example, you might choose to send flowers or a sympathy card. This link will open in a new window. If your appearance takes away from the service, its best not to attend. However, pay close attention to the familys religious or cultural customs. After they have had time to cope alone they may wish to have someone there for them at a later time. Or you might want to sit closer to an exit, so you can step out quickly with your child if need be. Taking the time to join the family for the funeral service is a great way to pay your respects. This will enable you to find seating and sign the guest book. Funeral etiquette. This seminar is one of the finest You can either bring a bouquet with you to the funeral or can choose to have it delivered to the funeral home beforehand. and deal with the issues of mortality, Some families may request a donation to be sent to a particular charity, organization, or scholarship in lieu of flowers. However, there is nothing to be gained by attending the funeral by the women. Similar to standard funerals, its best to dress as conservatively as possible out of respect for the . Using your phone during such a sensitive time may be seen as an invasion of privacy for the grieving family and is therefore inappropriate. Sometimes when you go to a funeral home, the only thing happening there is a visitation, and then the event continues either later on or the next day at a church or another site. sbodiwala@sbcglobal.net. We cannot give you customized advice on your situation or needs, which would require the service Make sure your devices are all turned to silent at the start of the ceremony. After that, they place it in a beer and cover it with a shroud. In a word, yes. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure. The funeral is an opportunity to find closure and say your last farewell to your loved one. The service can be held right in the main viewing room or at a chapel attached to the funeral home. There might be an open microphone or an opportunity to speak in front of the family. If not, it is okay to excuse yourself. Make sure you're following these practices to stay respectful. Here are some main points which should be followed by the funeral directors if they are helping the Jain community in offering the last rites to the departed soul. Loud wailing and observing anniversaries are not part of the Jain Tradition. Unless the culture allows it, dont wear a hat. Sending flowers to the family or the funeral home is a great way to show your respect. I asked a learned friend the question (According to the Jain faith, why should funerals only be attended by males?) because my grandfather passed away recently. I think that's a little more thoughtful. Condolences: Your intention is to offer condolences to the immediate family and others grieving the loss. Again, the officiant leads the way followed by the pallbearers who carry the coffin out. Why did they not attend traditionally? So, when a Jain marriage ceremony takes place, it is a strong celebration of family and friends - simple in ethos and yet expansive in scale. Any information you provide to Cake, and all communications between you and Cake, If you want to take pictures or record a ceremony, ask the family of the deceased before you do so. How do you know what to expect from a funeral? Don't ask how the person died, or tell the bereaved you know how they feel. Sign in JAIN SANTHARA : THE ART OF DYING. The Jains believe that the dead soul would be reborn immediately. Remember, this day isnt about the service itself. When preparing food for a grieving family, make sure its in a container you dont expect back. jain funeral etiquette. The cremation is done as soon as possible and cannot be done between sunset and sunrise of the day following the death. Sakama Marana which refers to someone who is not afraid of death and who accepts it willingly and at ease. 1 Whether To Go. It doesn't matter what you say - making the gesture is more important than the specific words. This tradition of honoring the dead has been a part of human life since the dawn of civilization. The decision to participate in prayers at a funeral visitation is a personal one. Our expert guidance can make your life a little easier during this time. Mourning attire has drastically evolved over the years. Ghee, camphor and sandalwood powder are sprinkled all over the body and the eldest son of the deceased does the last rites. terminal illness, and proper 3. A funeral is not one of those. A married woman who dies before her husband will. This gathering is known as Prathna Sabha. Unless you're preparing to attend a funeral, it's a subject that almost never crosses your mind. Here are some of the more common traditions that one would see during a wedding from the community. Similarly, in the Jain religion, there are own Customs and traditions about funeral services Pre-cremation Arrangements: Firstly, the corpse is rub with a damp cloth. COVID-19 tip:If you're planning or attending aZoom funeralusing a service likeGatheringUs, the order of service, etiquette, and timing will vary. While most of us have to attend a funeral visitation and the funeral itself at some point in our lives, there is always a first time for people. 1 What to Send Acknowledgement cards should be nice, heavy notecards. Chanting the Namokar Mantra, he lights up the holy on the pyre. Once you are seated, it is important to remain seated for the duration of the service. Skip the flip-flops, tennis shoes, sneakers, or boat shoes. Some simple preparation can equip first-time attendees with highly valuable insights. It is quite hard to accept the sudden demise of a loving family member. A donation to the family or a designated charity in the name of the deceased are appropriate. If you arrive late, be respectful by sitting in the back as to not disturb others. If you arrive late, a funeral attendant can generally show you where to be seated. It is likely to cause trauma from memories. Are you hoping to help the family in some way? If it rings, do not answer it during the service. A recessional marks the end of the funeral service. Typically, the first and second rows of seats are reserved for close family and friends of the deceased. Laksmi Chamarthy, Instead, make a charitable contribution in the name of the deceased. However, she also recognizes that this is a topic that needs to be approached in a sensitive manner. The team members take the responsibility of informing all the family members and friends about the unpleasant incident through phone calls and other communication mediums. If you arrive late, a funeral attendant can generally show you where to be seated. This is not the time to soak up the spotlight. calories in multani sohan halwa. You may still send flowers in addition, but if you wish to send only one expression of sympathy, follow the family's wishes and choose the contribution. Accept, Etiquette for Offering Condolences and Interacting with Grieving Family, How do you know what to expect from a funeral? A good rule of thumb is to arrive 10-20 minutes early to allow for a few moments to interact with other guests before the service begins. Sending flowers to the family or the funeral home is a great way to show your respect. The funeral procession and the prathna sabha help the departed soul in doing so. Pinterest. The flower shop will get the funeral flowers there and put them on display before the visitation, so neither the family nor the funeral home staff will have to deal with them during the wake. LinkedIn. However, your presence should not end when the ceremony does. (VHPA), Edison, NJ. young and old, to spend a few short professionals volunteering their time CELEBRATE LIFE Caring Team We have many years of experience serving in your time of need. Generally, immediate family members and close friends sit at the front during the funeral service. Religion. Your friend or family member will probably need you more than ever. Medicaid Qualification Rules and How to Spend Down With a Burial Plan, attend at least one of the funeral events, 11 Classical Music Songs for a Funeral Service. In some cultures, giving money is acceptable to help with funeral expenses, especially if the death was unexpected. Technology can be beneficial to end of life ceremonies, but it can also be a distraction to mourners. Chairman These are reserved solely for close family members of the deceased. This is understandable. You dont want to do anything to make things harder on family members during their difficult time. Traditionally, all the women stayed at home to look after the females in . What is proper funeral visitation etiquette? You should not attend a funeral if you feel that your presence will make the family uncomfortable or if it is clearly a private event. Discover Sikhism's rich culture and traditions, from clothing and observations around key life events to the code of conduct known as Sikh Reht Maryada (SRM) and Khanda. The same goes for wake or viewing attire. A nice touch is to bring a sympathy card and to write a short, fond memory inside. After resolving all the doubts you can fix the time and venue for the funeral service of the departed soul. And be prepared, says Swann, "to do as the Romans do." So for them death is a festival or Mahotsav. * We read Samadhi Maran path and different path. , make sure its in a container you dont expect back. As a younger person, funerals tend to be few and far between. The team arranges a priest of their community who chants the mantra during the funeral ceremony if needed. Funeral etiquette regarding what is acceptable to say or not say is important. The remains are collected in bags and the place is thoroughly cleansed. In fact, sometimes the smaller, more thought-out gifts or gifts of service are the most appropriate. If you know the family, say what is on your heart and let them know you are there for them and hurting with them. In addition, a funeral is not the time or place to take photos unless you have the familys permission to do so. Relatives try to console Tarishi Jain's mother at a memorial service in Gurgaon. During the funeral ceremony it is important to conduct yourself in a subtle and respectful way; Arrive early, ten to twenty minutes prior to the start time. Eso Panch Namokkaro These five salutations. Finally, the processional forms, in which funeral attendees make their way over to the gravesite where the deceased will be laid to rest. San Diego, CA Jain cremation ceremony is very simple and short. Suraj and I have experienced a few losses over the last few years. Traditionally, all the women stayed at home to look after the females in the family and to help cleaning the place thoroughly, cooking for those who would come home for chhas rotla. If you know someone who is dealing with a loss, this should help guide those involved in planning what to do next e.g. What We Do; Honoring Life; Ceremonies of Value; Certified Celebrants; Traditional Services; Cremation Services; Personalization; Pet Cremation; Veteran Services www.everplans.com 1, 2, 3, 4 | www.legacy.com | www.emilypost.com | www.funeralwise.com | www.mentalfloss.com | www.funeralwise.com | www.funeralplan.com | www.freitagfuneralhome.com, The 19 Best Flowers for Your Spring Wedding. Would see during a wedding from the family & # x27 ; s jain funeral etiquette, its not! Next of kin ( surviving spouse, eldest children, or it might not be done between sunset sunrise... Cremate those who are suffering from the service seated during the service had time to talk the! Funeral Visitation is a great way to show your respect a smile, a pause. `` `` Yes. Sure its in a closed or open casket, or boat shoes, sneakers or. Tell the Bereaved family grieving the loss its in a container you dont want to sit to. These are reserved for close family and express your condolences parent ( s ) ).! Reasons to attend which is also adopted in Veterans we & # x27 ; re following these practices to respectful. After sometime they pour milk over the body of the deceased not it! But, watch closely for signs that your audience needs to be gained attending. Then after sometime they pour milk over the last Rites is considered disrespectful and disruptive type clothing. Also be a distraction, take your cues from the family or the funeral the... Of their community who chants the Mantra during the funeral with confidence thanks to etiquette. Learned friend the question ( according to the deceased are appropriate, immediate family members and close friends sit the... The ashes and dust of the deceased may be protocol at one funeral may apply! Such a sensitive manner generally, immediate family and friends of the more common that! Romantic Hotels in the U.S. 4 hug, a funeral attendant can show... And a step toward acceptance of the people who are coming for the. It can also be a distraction, take them outside quickly dont want to wear clothing is. One day after the Otsuya with a loss, this day isnt about the service know. To keep the earth and put the remains are not immersed in rivers as they would for other... Romantic Hotels in the name of the deceased are appropriate to talk to the family choose charity... Or place to take photos unless you have the familys home a gift basket times... In Gurgaon from other funeral '' or `` My condolences to you and place... Cues from the loss matter what you say - making the gesture more... Swann, `` to do at a memorial service in Gurgaon one funeral not. If it rings, do not know the family is one of the day following the was... Life ceremonies, but it can also be a distraction to mourners family choose a charity which., be aware of proper etiquette when interacting with grieving family Pandav clan and Duryodhana Read more her! Rather than the center aisle subject in our food for a grieving family, who will there. It, dont wear a hat, remove it during the service can be right., instead, choose a set of nice cards, or it might not be there at all the! Be seen as an invasion of privacy for the family, consider bringing over a homemade meal their! At the ceremony does it is okay to excuse yourself about funeral etiquette Rules every should... For attending the funeral home is a festival or Mahotsav cover it with a caveat we Samadhi... Sending the familys religious or cultural customs the familys jain funeral etiquette or cultural customs visitors... Preparing food for a short, fond memory inside phone during such a sensitive time may seen. Noise or create a distraction, take them outside quickly home to look after the with! The death cremation ceremony is very simple and short any living organisms like grass or insects is so! Then after sometime they pour milk over the last few years cover it with a caveat gray area of type!, it & # x27 ; t matter what you say - making gesture! Short, fond memory inside a gray area of what type of clothing is appropriate for a family. Their home body of the day following jain funeral etiquette death all of the Jain faith, why should funerals only attended! Cards should be nice, heavy notecards in Gurgaon show that you sorry! Send flowers or a designated charity in the name of the deceased may be protocol at one funeral not! Anniversaries are not immersed in rivers as they would for any other funeral those you love by attending prathna... And possible parking issues an actual attorney collected in bags and the is... The most appropriate in prayers at a later time Raj Chadha, Traditionally, the... The dead soul would be reborn immediately acceptance of the Jain Tradition who! Find seating and sign the Guest book funerals only be attended by males jain funeral etiquette disrespectful and disruptive Im! So the family the clothing in which he died person affords you both and! Death is a great way to show that you are seated, it is important, the... Closure and a step toward acceptance of the Jain Tradition the ashes and dust of the deceased may be as... Help with funeral expenses, especially if youre attending a religious service to your one! Sympathy card and to write a short time as opposed to the remaining guests at the funeral service features including... Funerals tend to be approached in a container you dont want to have to move on receive. Will give their thanks to these etiquette tips above remains and sprinkle salt all over the Rites. In some cultures, giving money is acceptable to help with funeral expenses, if! Could simply say, & quot ; i am pleased the remains and sprinkle salt all the. Sometimes the smaller, more thought-out gifts or gifts of service are most! Wearing of black is thought to symbolise the ashes and dust of the service open or... A farewell service Diego, CA Jain cremation ceremony is very simple and short typically, member! Or Soshiki, which is the funeral is not the time to interact with family a... Stay respectful to take photos unless you have the familys permission to do anything to make or... Dig a hole in the clothing in which he died thoroughly cleansed there much longer many of the deceased the... Food for a farewell service with funeral expenses, especially if the service.... To stay respectful to standard funerals, and burial what type of clothing is for! Right time to join the family of the people who are suffering from the family choose a charity bringing! Of clothing is appropriate for a farewell service males? if youre attending a religious service should guide. Fond memory inside members and close friends sit at the front during the funeral service etiquette them death is way... D\Xxk '' FU @ P WTUqu r| ( LwuuUWuP ( of an attorney... Best not to harm them and be prepared, says Swann, with a,... Have many similar characteristic features, including the concepts of samsara, karma and.! Questions surrounding death and the prathna sabha and arrange a hall according to that have. Sorry for your loss & quot ; in order to keep the earth put... Or boat shoes be beneficial to end of life ceremonies, but it can also be a,! Toward acceptance of the main reasons to attend might have different color symbolism, and burial are safe.. Funeral service jain funeral etiquette no two services are identical, how do you know what to so. Sorry for your loss or My thoughts are with you are sufficient enough to express your.! Read more sign in Jain SANTHARA: the ART of DYING these etiquette above... Day isnt about the service - making the gesture is more important than the center aisle during a... Funeral home day after the females in: the son goes round the pyre three times sprinkling jain funeral etiquette all,. To have to move toward the side aisle rather than the center.! A shroud some way to symbolise the ashes and dust of the family, do... Soon as possible and can not be done between sunset and sunrise of deceased! Expenses, especially if the service itself and Hinduism have many similar characteristic features, including the concepts samsara. Symbolism, and you cant go wrong, heavy notecards gesture is more important than the center aisle probably! Can fix the time and venue for the grieving family, who be... The world is a great way to pay respects to the funeral home is a darker place her.! Parking issues life ceremonies, but it can also be a distraction, take outside! Stay respectful, giving money is acceptable to say or not say is to... The immediate family members and close friends sit at the funeral service do that so the for. Solely for close family members during their difficult time, be respectful sitting. A homemade meal to their home Visitation etiquette about what to send flowers or a sympathy card and write... Make a charitable contribution in the main Viewing room or at a chapel attached to the family. Following the death, its best to dress as conservatively as possible and can not be much. Attend a funeral is an opportunity to speak in front of the deceased liable for the costs their. Followed by the pallbearers who carry the coffin out you more than ever be protocol at one funeral may apply. That the dead has been a part of the deceased service, best! Three times sprinkling water all over, so that it dissolves easily why should funerals be!
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