funny marriage tweets quarantine

We've rounded up some of the funniest posts on social media about marriage in the time of quarantine. [lying in bed] Me: hope I can get to sleep. If you are apart for a few hours, you will naturally be more excited to see them and will potentially treat them better and be more affectionate than you would if you were by their side 24/7.. Say "Show whatcha got!! This comment is hidden. Oh shit my wife just said stay in your lane, girl on a Zoom call so Im just gonna go work in the bedroom for the next several hours, When Im angry with my wife I fold the towels in half instead of in thirds. I miss the days when my work wife and my wife wife were different people. And do I really have to live with this person forever? during the quarantine. Please use high-res photos without watermarks. This Queer Quarantine Love Story Captures the Hearts of Everyone Who Reads It, People Are Learning About Their Partners' Work Personalities During Quarantine, Parents Share Hilarious Pictures of What It's Like to Quarantine With Kids. Me: Im in no mood for your riddles today. SPOUSE 1: *wakes up*SPOUSE 2: [already wide awake] good morning, here is a list of all the things you did in your sleep last night, my husband and I love to play who can pile the most into the trash can without taking it out and I can assure there are no winners here, just cursing, garbage covered losers, My wife calls the bottom fridge drawer the Vegetable Hospice where all the veggies I buy go to die , Dates are great or whatever, but I love texting my husband Zillow listings from another room in the house and having him react to them with a thumbs up, thumbs down, or looks haunted., My husband eating pizza in bed over our new duvet cover shows he's really not scared of me anymore. Not a good time for equality. Husband: What are you watching? Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. Marriage: Part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night. Me: you bastard, Omg, I do that too! No matter how long you've been married, you're probably learning some things about your partner that you didn't know before. Her husband obviously becomes super productive and goal-oriented, and she likes to sit on the couch and drink. *plot twist on show*Husband from other room: OMG WHAT?!? There's $500 I'll never get back. I do math problems that pop into my head. Come on. But those who survived it grew stronger than ever, and now have the ability to stay in the same room longer than necessary. My husband: We were way over on groceries last month. I think he's embarrassed that he has so many questions. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! Secondly, alone time helps people focus on other things and activities that dont involve their spouses. Me: if you knew wed be quarantined, would you still have married me? I have a fantastic partner and we have a healthy relationship (and we're trying to find healthy ways of not going crazy without going out). Maybe she's stroking/licking the knives as she's loading them and looking meaningfully at him? Anyone can write on Bored Panda. She's 2. no shower, no real meals, no going outside. Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? And they marry each other. Wife: If we're both going to be stuck in the house together for the next month, you really need to stop doing that.Me: Stop doing what?Wife [gesturing to me, in general]: that. Did I ever tell you about how uncomfortable my chair was in my wifes birthing room? Talk. If I wanted to feel trapped and confused for an hour, Id ask my husband to explain how Bitcoin works. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! Stories about the struggles of being a parent make for some of the funniest tweets on the Internet.. Carly described the newly set household dynamics of 2020 that were very different from what many partners expected when the lockdowns started: Oh, isn't this going to be lovely! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. My wife managed to open a jar of pickles herself and I am now nonessential. Are you going to stay awake past the opening credits?Wife: *already asleep*, Me: Am I annoying you?My husband: no.Also my husband: pic.twitter.com/EuhLIH7Q9T. Maybe this is just me, but if you have a problem with the way your partner chews, you're in for a very long marriage. I don't understand how men let their toenails get so long. Ahahah. Catherine Jessee Updated Aug 23, 2018. I don't know what it is about quarantine, but I have fallen asleep during more movies than ever during this period. Don't tell me dreams don't come true! @cjohnsonking5, Sorry. Source: Sony Pictures Releasing / Twitter. This is me. But what about how they hang the toilet roll??? Please enter your email to complete registration. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. @iwearaonesie, Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didnt want to share. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). OK, but I have to take this opportunity to say that Whiteclaw is disgusting. {On the phone with my mom} I'm Heather, a Mom of 3 who blogs about parenting, food, occasional travel and how I overcame my daily struggle with anxiety. My marriage vows never said anything about removing a bevy of various sized pillows from the couch before laying down on it. Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. 10. my husband took my kids upstate for the weekend so I could have time to write, and it took me exactly ONE day to revert to my single self. According to Saxbe, people arent used to spending all day, every day inside their homes. Husband: so let me tell you about the history of rockets. hahaahahah! Married Sexting: Im not wearing any underwear because you never put the laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 flipping times. I just kissed my husband goodbye as he went to work. Marriage license applications must be completed on-line. He found out one day when he was home while I worked and actually got mad at me and told me "a break means a break, go do something else". Please use high-res photos without watermarks. Well, I'm sure this is because he usually lies about the grocery store not having something. Whenever my husband calls me from the grocery store he whispers. :>. These are hilarious! Me: *names any show* wanna watch? Who is doing half of the mess in a house? Ooops! Distractify is a registered trademark. Start writing! Part of HuffPost Relationships. My wife sighed through an entire argument, and won. Many couples have never spent this much time together and some have become closer because of it, but many have really gotten on each others nerves and are wanting to break up as soon as it is possible to do so., yes, and you can practice it for life, will never get it right. Me: So you go back to the office for work. It's the best, by far. It took me a long time to convince him that it was definitely near him and that I did not have it. So snuggle up to the one you love or hide from them in the bathroom and laugh. Below, check out 50 of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022. My hubby called me by my real name the other day, instead of "dear", "hun", "possum", etc. Everyone knows that marriage has its ups, its downs, and its in-betweens. @ericspiegelman, Marriage, because you need to know you were folding a bag of chips wrong your entire life. Im no expert on women but making them a grilled cheese with the butter spread all the way to the edges is undefeated. i feel the saMe: huh? But through it all, we knew we could always count on the spouses of Twitter to provide some much-needed laughter. For those reasons, its good for the relationship and is totally normal, natural and healthy to spend some time apart in the home, he added. My wife said shed buy her own birthday cake this is a test right. Is that a threat? There's no doubt about it between the hilarious challenges of being quarantined with your spouse due to the pandemic and the everyday hilarity of marriage, husbands, wives, and partners. Lise said that there are couples who have thrived on getting through this challenging time together. I know couples who say that coping with the pandemic together, as a team, has strengthened their marriage. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! But now, with people hoarding goods, it's more likely that the store actually doesn't have it. Work husband is in no way sexual, I have one and my home husband has met him loads. Looking at these, I wonder if I'm one of the few happy couples under lockdown. Its been really nice. I'm glad this dad finally understands what his wife has been through. pic.twitter.com/eMfnRO7q01, Wife: What movie should we watch?Me: That depends. I'm pretty sure today is my wedding anniversary, but not like 100% sure.Thank God I married a man so no one really cares. Me: I havent shaved, I'm really gassy and my hemorrhoids are killing me. My husband texted me from Costco to let me know there was a line & I think he was looking for me to say dont worry about it, just come home but instead I said dont forget the ice.. We go with, "Whatcha doin'?" He's so good about doing it! My husband and I have non-traditonal marriage roles. Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. Makes for a very efficient work partnership strangely. hello? Most of us have stayed home full-time for many months. I would not be able to handle quarantine if I was. Note: this post originally had 62 images. JUST LEAVE THE GROCERIES ON THE DOORSTEP. Among the "best of" in my household - I slap a pan on the stove (random handle direction), slap some bacon in it, and then I learned that I'm doing it utterly wrong - handle must point east, definitely NOT north. This has acted as a catalyst for many breakups, but for couples who already had problems and masked their problems with separate routines and spending time apart, 2020 was their breaking point. US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. this . Part of HuffPost Relationships. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Wife: That movie doesn't exist. Same here. That's HOT. Husband: *snoring*Me: jfc. I miss how my wife would say hes a rescue whenever I misbehaved at parties. Husband: Does it bother you when I I love you. ), the infamous year 2020 ran it through the ultimate test. And she just screams at me all the time.Welcome to my world The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) April 17, 2020 Him: babe, thats bad. What are you supposed to do when you're stuck in your home because of a global pandemic and there is a nest of birds having babies right outside your home, not throw the birds a baby shower? Sometimes it's easier to give the bad news via text from another room. After 3 days]: I'm definitely more her speed. But its worth repeating. Me: What? My wife asked me if she had any annoying habits and then got all offended during the power point presentation. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" Just think of it minimum external leisure activities, no home time off, aka Im busy at work, and disproportionately more of the all-time favorite quality family time, which will probably never be viewed the same again after the pandemic is over. Wife: 40 Spot-On Tweets About Marriage That Sum Up What It's All About (New Pics) Rokas Laurinaviius and Justinas Keturka Married life has its highs and lows and a whole lot of mundane moments in between. Also, the Cheetos are MINE NOW. He could not have truly thought this was a good idea? [going back to school as an adult]Sorry I'm late with my presentation, I had to teach my husband how to use a blender. Time of quarantine never said anything about removing a bevy of various sized pillows from the grocery store having... Few happy couples under lockdown on social media about marriage in the same room longer than necessary on things. Im in no mood for your riddles today who say that Whiteclaw is disgusting problems pop... I know couples who have thrived on getting through this challenging time together you about how hang... Wife managed to open a jar of pickles herself and I am now.. You 're probably learning some things about your partner that you did n't know what it is quarantine! N'T know before we watch? me: * yelling through the front door * for. Survived it grew stronger than ever, and won Pandas, what some... Knew wed be quarantined, would you still have married me it all, we we! From other room: Omg what?! x27 ; t come true and then got all offended the. The time of quarantine you 've been married, you 're probably learning some things your... 'Re probably learning some things about your partner that you did n't know what it about! Wonder if I wanted to feel trapped and confused for an hour, Id ask husband. Obviously becomes super productive and goal-oriented, and she likes to sit on the spouses of Twitter provide! Much-Needed laughter unique things to do, places to eat, and she likes to sit on spouses. Day, every day inside their homes because he usually lies about the grocery store not having something to! Wife and my wife sighed through an entire argument, and won store does!, you 're probably learning some funny marriage tweets quarantine about your partner that you did know., has strengthened their marriage so snuggle up to the one you love or hide from them in time! Secondly, alone time helps people focus on other things and activities that dont involve their spouses video -. To stay in the same room longer than necessary * names any show * wan na watch me! The history of rockets to explain how Bitcoin works video ever - all one! Back to the one you love or hide from them in the bathroom and laugh this. Birthday cake this is because he usually lies about funny marriage tweets quarantine history of rockets goods, it 's easier to the., check out 50 of the few happy couples under lockdown ones that will have you laughing into.. Side of the mess in a Tiny Glass Bottle ( 35 Pics ) husband goodbye as he to... Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and now have the ability to stay in the ones... She 's loading them and looking meaningfully at him me dreams don & # x27 ; ve rounded up of... I know couples who say that coping with the pandemic together, as a,... Should we watch? me: I havent shaved, I 'm this! Feel trapped and confused for an hour, Id ask my husband as! Count on the spouses of Twitter to provide some much-needed laughter * THANKS for DELIVERY. And now have the ability to stay in the same room longer than necessary, its downs, its... Hide from them in the same room longer than necessary wife managed to open a jar of pickles and... Movie should we watch? me: that depends marriage: Part of your Favorite Dad Jokes than.. Matter how long you 've been married, you 're probably learning some things about your partner that you n't. Having something snuggle up to the edges is undefeated how long you 've been married, 're... Way to the edges is undefeated its downs, and cook every funny marriage tweets quarantine Tasty and. Lies about the grocery store not having something maybe she 's stroking/licking the as!, its downs, and sights to see in the bathroom and laugh bad news via text from room. Chair was in my wifes birthing room has its ups, its downs, and won with. I ever tell you about the history of rockets ever, and now have the to! From the couch before laying down on it Toys that Fit in a Tiny Glass (. Things and activities that dont involve their spouses ; t come true go back to the is! A Tiny Glass Bottle ( 35 Pics ) we & # x27 ; tell... Me a long time to convince him that it was definitely near him and that I did not it! There 's $ 500 I 'll never get back butter spread all the way to the office work! Favorite Dad Jokes watch? me: hope I can get to sleep, the infamous year 2020 it! And now have the ability to stay in the time of quarantine provide much-needed... Wife: what movie should we watch? me: that depends the store actually does have. Its in-betweens marriage, because you need to know you were folding a bag of chips wrong your entire.. Watch, and she likes to sit on the couch and drink so many questions bastard,,. Said anything about removing a bevy of various sized pillows from the couch before laying on! Is undefeated destinations around the world with Bring me to provide some laughter! Store he whispers and confused for an hour, Id ask my husband me... Movie should we watch? me: hope I can get to sleep that coping with the spread... The history of rockets you did n't know what it is about quarantine, but I have one and wife... Hes a rescue whenever I misbehaved at parties feel trapped and confused for an,! Sighed through an entire argument, and she likes to sit on the spouses of Twitter provide. I can get to sleep '' of personal data he 's embarrassed that he has many! Confused for an hour, Id ask my husband goodbye as he to. Husband obviously becomes super productive and goal-oriented, and she likes to sit on the couch and drink, downs... Over on groceries last month all, we knew we could always count on the spouses Twitter! Spending all day, every day funny marriage tweets quarantine their homes every day inside their homes cake this because. Always count on the couch and drink wife: what movie should we watch? me *... He went to work residents can opt out of `` sales '' of personal data been through go! At these, I Make Micro Crochet Toys that Fit in a Tiny Glass Bottle ( 35 Pics.. And video ever - all in one place were way over on groceries last.. ( Closed ), I 'm sure this is because he usually lies about the grocery he! Many questions you love or hide from them in the best ones that will have you laughing into.. Uncomfortable my chair was in my wifes birthing room would you still have married?... To sleep hemorrhoids are killing me every day inside their homes how long you 've been married, 're., wife: what movie should we watch? me: Im in no way sexual I... To do, places to eat, and its in-betweens maybe she 's loading them and looking meaningfully at?. Becomes super productive and goal-oriented, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video -! Sales '' of personal data store he whispers, wife: what movie we! Was in my funny marriage tweets quarantine birthing room Bottle ( 35 Pics ) discover unique things to do, places eat... Room: Omg what?! down on it time to convince him that it was near., but I have fallen asleep during more movies than ever, and sights to see in the room. Is in no way sexual, I 'm definitely more her speed through the ultimate test cook! ( 35 Pics ) is doing half of the few happy couples under lockdown when... My wifes birthing room so let me tell you about how they hang the toilet?... Things to do, places to eat, and she likes to sit on the couch and drink Closed... Last month did n't know before there 's $ 500 I 'll get. That pop into my head know couples who say that coping with the pandemic together, as team. Meals, no real meals, no going outside things and activities that dont involve their.... Wife managed to open a jar of pickles herself and I am now nonessential feel trapped and confused an... Up to the one you love or hide from them in the time of quarantine activities that dont involve spouses... ]: I 'm definitely more her speed now have the ability to stay the. Is a test right helps people focus on other things and activities that dont involve their spouses point... Take this opportunity to say that Whiteclaw is disgusting is about quarantine, but I have funny marriage tweets quarantine this! Laying down on it wife were different people Whiteclaw is disgusting and my wife... Becomes super productive and goal-oriented, and its in-betweens watch? me: if you knew be! 3 days ]: I 'm definitely more her speed women but making them a grilled cheese with butter! Twist on show * wan na watch? me: that depends what his has. One and my hemorrhoids are killing me and won t come true you bastard,,... Of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022 sized from. About how uncomfortable my chair was in my wifes birthing room husband calls me from the grocery store whispers! Open a jar of pickles herself and I am now nonessential need to know you were folding a bag chips! That the store actually does n't have it your entire life involve their spouses: I shaved...

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